Admission is the first step

I have a problem.

I am an Ostrich.

Picture 3{source}

Yes you heard me correctly. An Ostrich.

Whenever something is going to happen that I know will stress me out or has stressed me out I get this dreadful sense of impending doom. This is not to say that I feel doomed towards marriage πŸ™‚ it’s more a pit of the stomach feeling that all my marvelous plans for the wedding are going to be botched b/c I will not have time to complete them.

We only have 7 months people. 7 MONTHS!!!!

I’m freaking out now. No lie! This is freak out mode now :-/

So here’s where the ostrich me takes over. And I throw my head into the sand and say it’s not happening, I have more time. I’m not thinking about anything that has to do with this b/c then it can’t happen and I can’t stress. Therefore why I’ve been so “quiet” this week.

Juvenile? Yes. It’s very reminiscent of the “I can’t see you, you can’t see me” mantra of elementary playgrounds.

But this is not something new. I did this when we moved back to TX. I seriously refused to even acknowledge the move by packing until 2 weeks before we had to leave. It took my mom cancelling my entire social/secular life to get me to face the reality.

I’m currently doing this with my college classes by ignoring the fact that I actually have to submit work with in deadlines. :-/

I know it’s bad. I know I need to get over this. But at least I’m admitting it people!

On my home desk I have this coaster Luke picked up for me at Club DaDa in Deep Ellum.

IMG_0001I got that warm fuzzy freshly baked cookies feeling when I opened the mail and found this. Isn’t he so sweet? πŸ™‚

And what I like best about this illustration is the other side…

IMGThere can be a view on the other side of the sand hole! πŸ™‚

So here’s to me getting over these issues by maybe not stopping the sand-head plunging but rising above the view and still moving forward in face of the freak-out worthy direction. If that makes any sense πŸ™‚

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